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"When you Democrat delegates get to your convention and look around, remember: The person sitting next to you could be mine."
"The last thing we need is another moderate on our ticket. I mean, it was just, what? Four or five years ago that Senator McCain was toying with leaving our party, toying with being Kerry's vice president? We're so screwed."
"I haven't seen Wayne's World, but apparently Paul Begala has, and apparently he's a big fan."
"I will accept no responsibility for a Republican loss in November. I am not the Republican candidate, nor am I the architect of a screwball Republican strategy that seeks the presidency by alienating the party."
"I can't record stuff on my DVR, Brian! There's a show on the mating habits of the Australian rabid bat coming up, so I set it upbut it said, 'You're not authorized.'"
"No serious conservative believes we need to create more international organizations to make decisions about American sovereignty. We don't need a League of Democracies, Senator McCain. We need the United States of America leading, not subordinating."
"Matthew, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Realize the stories you'll be able to tell your grandkids: that you were a covert op in Operation Chaos, that you successfully infiltrated the Democrat Party at their convention with a Bush bumper sticker on your car and got away with it."
"Your best friend's a guy? Is it your husband? Your boyfriend? No? Oh, that's a dangerous situation."
"I was a little surprised by that guy yesterday who said, 'Hey Rush, I need some money from you for college education for my daughter.' I was teetering on the verge of ripping into the guy, but I was just in too good a mood yesterday. Plus, you know, I'm a nice guy."
"Andrew Napolitano -- he's a friend of mine, but he looks like an adult Eddie Munster."