I realize that some of you, particularly you Democrats, do not want to hear a detailed analysis of all of the provisions in the Porkulus package that is expected to pass Congress shortly;you have that in common with the politicians who voted for it.
So I'm going to meet your expectations todayand cut to the chase. I'm going to give you to bottom line and answer the one burning question you have: "What's in this stimulus bill for me?"
Well, if you work, you're going to get a tax credit from Obama -- if you make less than $75,000. Not the $500 he promised you during the campaign, but a $400 credit. You couples will get 800 bucks, not the thousand you were promised. After the government does the paperwork-- and adjusts your withholding taxes-- you're going to get about $13a week. Next January, it goes down to $8 a week.
Now, don't sneer. That's a lot of money. You can buy aHappy Meal every day. If you're frugal and save it all up, you might be able to go to the gas pump and splurgeonce a month. Fill up the tankto the brim, folks!
So you see, folks,in America, hard work pays off after all. The hope and change we prayed for has arrived. Hope can be delivered toeverybody -- everybody! --for a mere 13 dollars a week (until January)...andyou even get tokeep thechange after you buy thatHappy Meal. Ha, ha! What a meal!