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"I don't steal thunder. I make thunder."
"After decades of terrorist attacks on American citizens here and around the world by militant Muslims, we're finally having hearings on this, and there's anger that we're doing it. You know, the anger should be that we haven't done this for decades!"
"Sarkozy and the French have now officially recognized the Libyan rebels. Hmm... maybe France will officially recognize the Tea Party?"
"What Wisconsin, Ohio, New Jersey, and Indiana Republicans are doing better be an inspiration, because if what they're doing makes other Republicans get weak in the knees, then all this is going to be for naught."
"Don't you folks just love all this talk from the protesters about how the Republicans have declared war on the hardworking middle class in Wisconsin? Yeah, because every hardworking American family I know is led by a longhaired, maggot-infested Michael Moore fan bussed in from out of state to raise holy hell."
"If your definition of success equals the media reporting accurately on us or championing our cause, you are going to forever be disappointed because it's never going to happen."
"Snerdley, I don't want any more phone calls today from people who say I'm offending them by accusing them of living on handouts. I mean, everybody knows what I was talking about, and if you have guilt because you're living on a handout, then you probably deserve it."
"You know, if I were in Wisconsin and I had access to the state capitol building today, you know what I would do? I'd go get Obama's speech from Arizona at the so-called memorial for Gabrielle Giffords and just loop it."
"No Democrat would ever win a national election if that Democrat were full-fledged honest about his policies and his ideas. Democrats have to make it up, they have to lie, obfuscate, impugn, criticize, and character smash."
"I am not a bully, but people who don't know me have been led to believe that I am. Well, I'm not one. I'm a harmless, lovable little fuzzball."