RUSH: TIME Magazine, "Why Powerful Men Compulsively Cheat." No different than AP, 1995, "Why it's okay to tell a little white lie now and then." It's by Jeffrey Kluger. "Human males have never been thought of as models of sexual restraint --"(laughing) There's the open. There's the lede. "Human males have never been thought of as models of sexual restraint -- and with good reason. From the moment the adolescent libido begins to boot up, boys seem to enter an ongoing state of emotional -- if not literal -- priapism, from which they never fully emerge.
"As far as nature is concerned, this is just fine. The goal of any organism, after all, is to ensure the survival and propagation of its genes, and males -- far more so than females -- are eminently equipped to do that. Even the world's most reproductively prolific mothers rarely produce more than eight or nine children in a lifetime. Males can conceive everyday, even multiple times a day, and come emotionally hardwired to do just that.
"Part of the reason they don't, apart from the impracticality of trying to raise a brood of 200 children, is that they just don't get that many mating opportunities. Sex requires a willing partner, and females, with so much more on the line in terms of the time, effort and energy that pregnancy and child-rearing involve, can be extremely selective in choosing mates." Men don't care. "That requires males to develop a whole suite of emotional muscles -- self-denial, self-restraint, a facility for delayed gratification -- that will help them cope with an appetite that at some levels will never be fully satisfied. And that, in turn, is a central pillar of monogamy and fidelity."
So you see, Dawn, we're just robots. We can't help it. The only tie we have is that thin little shred of a link to morality. Self-denial, self-restraint, delayed gratification, being able to wait four hours, or two weeks. "But what happens when the lid comes off? What happens when the opportunities are unlimited? In some cases, not much. Males either continue to practice self-control or, after a brief period of happy debauchery -- think rock stars or leading men who are always seen stepping out with a new piece of arm candy -- finally settle down into stable monogamy. In some cases, though, the stability never happens; in some cases, unlimited opportunity simply leads to unlimited appetites. Emperors and despots may be best known for this kind of behavior. The 18th-century Moroccan ruler Moulay Ismail is said to have fathered 888 children with his 500 concubines."
Well, Snerdley, let's figure this out. Everybody is going, whoa, Good Lord. Okay, 888 children. Somebody do the math. Eight hundred eighty-eight times ten minutes, maybe fifteen, 888 times five minutes. Let's figure out how much time this actually took. You will find it's not that much time. The average woman will agree with me, five, ten minutes. So this guy, 888 children, 500 women. "Genghis Khan makes Ismail look practically barren. A 2003 analysis of the Y chromosome of 2,123 men now living across the former Mongol empire showed that there are 16 million males living today whose line stretches back Genghis Khan." Sixteen million. One out of every 200 men now on the planet has a genetic line back to Genghis Khan. Not Walt, no way, not Wilt, not Tiger, not Moulay Ismail. No, no, no. Not Bill Clinton.
"But modern-day men of power -- Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards, John Ensign, JFK, FDR, and most recently, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dominique Strauss-Kahn -- with their serial wives or serial philandering, can behave just as badly, if less prolifically. 'When men have more opportunity they tend to act on that opportunity,' says psychologist Mark Held, a private practitioner in the Denver area who specializes in male sexuality and the problems of overachievers. 'The challenge becomes developing ways to control the impulses so you don't get yourself into self-defeating situations.'"
Okay. So there you have it. TIME Magazine explaining it. And, by the way, there's another whole page and a half of this. I'm not gonna read any more. I've basically given you the nuts and bolts of it. But I mean here it is. Schwarzenegger, Strauss-Kahn, Caligula, Clinton, Spitzer, Kennedy, John Edwards. An excuse. An explanation. A reason. Biology propagation, keeping the race alive. Ability, availability, time. Have you run the numbers in there? Eight hundred eighty-eight? What's the answer? Okay, under 48 hours. One hundred forty-eight hours. One hundred forty-eight hours -- less than a week -- to father 888 kids with 500 different women. It's three workweeks. It's your average vacation. And, of course, you're still able to walk. There's no reason that you can't keep going.
The story goes on, women cannot do this. (interruption) No, it doesn't get into jealousy here. Just points out that physiologically, biologically, women cannot do this. They simply can't. So, yeah, it's a good thing to lie. The two go hand in hand. Only men can do this. See how unfair it is? The feminists never had a chance. "Why Powerful Men Compulsively Cheat." See, not every man's got it in him to do this. A lot of men are scaredy cats, cowards, afraid of women, afraid of their own shadows, they get bogged down with responsibility.
You think this guy cared for his 500 kids? Heck no. He left it up to the 500 women. (interruption) Yes, this is true. Dawn is pointing out here that a lot of men are a lot more substantive than the examples given here, that they have much more rich, meaningful, morality-based lives than the reprobates mentioned. Well, I don't know who they are, but she's convinced they exist. This is the point. Dawn is convinced that they are out there. Asked to name some -- ha -- we draw a blank. But Dawn is convinced that they're out there. In fact, doesn't every woman think, "Just give me the chance, I can change this. I can change this. Just hasn't met the right woman yet," or what have you. Anyway, Maria did what you would expect in such a traumatic situation. She was in Chicago taping the Oprah show last night.