"My dogs have created more shovel-ready work than Obama has. In this week alone."
"We don't elect presidents expecting them to tell us how damn hard the job is."
"I don't know of a better prize than me in your living room."
"I don't think we got any bridges that are in danger of collapsing, but we might have people who are gonna start jumping off of them."
"Sometimes I think you're my wife, Snerdley, and then I get reassured -- he-he-he -- when I look at you that it couldn't possibly be the case, 'cause you're a guy."
"They have a cut and paste template at all of these news agencies: 'Government shutdown', here's the paragraph you put in."
"Dealing with liberals is like dealing with a one-armed lunatic. They're just gonna keep swinging. They're gonna keep fighting no matter what you do."
"The guy that brought us out of a recession has now given us another one. There's no doubt in my mind as each day piles onto the next that this is coincidental or happenstance. This is on purpose, and by design."
"Two If By Tea is the best tea that you've ever had in the best bottles. Not the cheap flimsy bottles that kind of crinkle up, make noise and feel like a breast implant."
"The government can print money, but if there's no underlying activity going on associated with the movement of the money, it's worthless."
"This whole notion of paying forward is based on a premise that you can't pay it back, you can't pay back what was done for you, so you have to pay it forward to other people who didn't actually directly help you."
"United States Senator Barack Obama invested $90,000 in LightSquared on the day they got FCC approval. Of course that was just a coincidence, and it was another coincidence that George Soros just happens to be a major investor in LightSquared."
"This is exactly the kinds of things Marxists do. When it's their own money, they are the biggest capitalists you've ever seen. When it's their own money, they don't spend it; they invest it, they grow it, they make all kinds of behind the scenes, under the door, backdoor deals."
"Ms. Warren, the government doesn't have any money until it takes it from people first."
"Nobody should have anything more than anybody else because everybody always does it on the backs of other people. The biggest, most successful people in the world couldn't have done it -- and this is Obama's worldview of the United States."
"So who says, Ms. Warren, that businesses are free from marauding bands? The marauding bands of today are government regulations topped upon themselves. When this factory owner you're talking about looks out his window, the marauding band he sees is the federal government and this never-ending list of regulations. You are one of the marauding bands."
"If all we were doing is paying for roads and bridges and police, fine, but we're not. We're paying for Solyndra and LightSquared, Fast and Furious, 16 different school lunch programs. It never ends!"
"Ms. Warren is a parasite. She's a parasite who hates her host. She's willing to destroy the host while she sucks the life out of it. Roads, bridges, firefighters and policemen."
"There are things Obama said in that speech yesterday about Israel that I'll bet you when they rehearsed this, that they had to tie him to the chair and say, 'You're not getting out of this room until you promise you'll say what we've put on the teleprompter here.' 'Cause he's never said it before and he may say it again a couple times in the campaign."
"There's not a dime's worth of difference when you get down to practical matters between Clinton and Obama, but Clinton thinks there is right now."