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Al Joker's Hurricane Tips for Babies

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: So we got a hurricane coming.  The National Hurricane Center, which is a government agency, is very hopeful that the hurricane gets near Tampa.  The National Hurricane Center is Obama.  It's the National Weather Service, part of the Commerce Department.  It's Obama.  The media, it's all about the hurricane hitting next week, and they're not talking about Biden, they're talking about this Hurricane Isaac thing.  Well, you know, we who live in south Florida become experts. We don't need the National Hurricane Center, and we don't need all these weather dolts analyzing this for us.  Well, we need the center, we can look at their charts and graphs, we know what to do, we can read the stuff.  I've been tracking the charted forecast track of the storm, and they're moving it sometimes to the east.  The latest, 11 o'clock, they moved it to the west as a Cat 1 impact in Naples, Fort Myers area. 

This morning at five a.m., the impact was Miami.  We're still not talking about 'til next Tuesday, so it's gonna be all over the ballpark between now and then.  We don't know where this thing is gonna hit.  The models are moving it more and more out into the Gulf.  I wouldn't be surprised if this thing hits in Louisiana someplace when it's all said and done.  Just kidding.  Nobody knows, but they're desperately hoping, they're so desperately hoping for Tampa.  The media, you know, I can see Obama sending FEMA in in advance of the hurricane hitting Tampa so that the Republican convention is nothing but a bunch of tents in Tampa, a bunch of RVs and stuff. (laughing) Make it look like a disaster area before the hurricane even hits there.

So, anyway, for the fun of it -- and I haven't done this in years, and I don't want to get anybody mad. Our TV viewing habits change as we get older. I hadn't watched the Weather Channel since NBC/Comcast bought it. So I didn't know (I mean I knew, but I didn't recall) that Al Joker is now on the Weather Channel. I thought he was strictly the Today Show, but they have Al Joker sometimes on the Weather Channel.

I tuned it in, and I'm watching it, and I'm thinking, "Do they think I am four years old or what?" Al Joker is sitting there telling me (condescending voice), "Make sure, kiddies, that you don't light a candle in the hurricane." What is this? We're a week away and you're telling us "Don't light candles"? What, are we four years old out here? And yeah, I got to thinking. Local weather is that way. It snows and they send a reporter out there to stand in the drifts to tell us not to go out.

"And remember: If you skid out, turn into the skid." There are all of these things that you learn, and then I had to stop and think: Maybe people today aren't learning these kinds of things. Maybe a lot of the country is the equivalent of four or five years old. But it was Weather for Babies. I thought Al Joker should dress up in a diaper, get some apple juice in a baby bottle, and do his Tropical Update from a baby crib. I kid you not. "Don't light candles during a heavy windstorm."

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: If that hurricane hits Tampa during the Republican convention? Let's see here. At eight a.m. Monday, the current forecast track from the National Hurricane Center has a Cat 1 impact landfall around Naples or Fort Myers. And just magically skirting right up the west coast of Florida.

On Tuesday, it'll be right there at Tampa, right there in the Bay Area. You know they're hoping for this. Now, if this happens, if the hurricane gets there, will anybody accuse Barack Obama of steering the hurricane to kill rich white people at the Republican convention? (New Castrati impression) "Come on, Mr. Limbaugh! What would make you say something so positively absurd?" Well, isn't that what you guys accused Bush of doing when Katrina went into New Orleans?

You may not have been paying attention, folks, but there were wacko, extreme Democrats who tried to tell other Democrats that Bush steered the hurricane! He had a weather machine and he wanted to wipe out Democrats and the Democrat advantage in Louisiana. That was said! It was said. It was one of the most outrageous things, and then certain elements of the media went around asking people:

"Do you think Bush really didn't do anything about this because he was happy to see Democrats displaced and have to move to places like Texas and so forth, giving Republicans an electoral advantage in Louisiana?" They actually asked the question. The idea that Bush didn't care that poor black people who were being victimized by Hurricane Katrina? Well, we could turn it right around 'cause we know that Obama does not like Romney.

END TRANSCRIPT

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