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Rush Limbaugh

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RUSH: I’m not kidding. I got people e-mailing me, being depressed about the new iPhone. I kid you not. Well, I’ll tell you why. It’s because apparently everything is known about what it’s gonna be, and that’s like taking Santa Claus out of Christmas for people. Apple’s big announcement is on Wednesday, and everybody thinks they know what the phone’s gonna be. It’s gonna be a four-inch screen. It’s gonna have LTE, 4G LTE in it, it’s gonna have whatever, people know it. It’s not a new design. It looks exactly like the current phone, a little thinner. It looks just like the current phone, just a half-inch longer. But no wider. It’s gonna have a bigger screen but nothing on that screen is gonna be bigger. There’s just gonna be more space on the screen and the Apple fanboys are all depressed that they’re losing to Samsung, even though Apple just creamed ’em in court, ’cause Samsung phones have a bigger screen.

It’s amazing to track this. You know, I’m a Mac fanboy myself. So I track this stuff. I got a friend of mine down here forlorn like you can’t believe. I try to tell him, “Look, remember last year, Siri, nobody knew that was coming. They always hold something back that’s exclusive to the new phone, some hot to trot thing.” He said, “What do you think it’s gonna be?” I said, “How do I know?” So I started guessing, “Okay, fingerprint ID to lock the phone, facial recognition.” I started throwing what I thought were cool things out to mollify the guy to stop him from being so damned depressed. I started pointing out, “When’s the last time they changed the design of their laptops? The iPad design hasn’t changed in three years,” and reason is last year everybody was expecting a teardrop design iPhone. They didn’t get it, and they’re not gonna be happy ’til they do. And some of these Apple blog guys are obsessed with NFC technology (near field communications), mobile wallet, and it ain’t gonna be in there so they think it’s all a failure.

It’s amazing to look at the various things people are interested in, and you can find depression everywhere, disappointment. And Apple hadn’t even said anything yet. But everybody’s convinced they know what it’s gonna be, and it’s like Santa Claus. One guy even said that Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, is so boring they better get a celebrity out there to conduct the big show on Wednesday or nobody’s gonna watch it.

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