RUSH: Now time, ladies and gentlemen, for the Official Obama Criticizer. Here is Mr. Bo Snerdley.
OFFICIAL OBAMA CRITICIZER: Thank you. This is Bo Snerdley, the Official EIB Obama Criticizer, certified black enough to criticize, 100% American organic slave blood, with a legitimate birth certificate on file, uncut truth on your dial, delivered with a smile, and I have a statement.
Mr. Obama, your IRS is running covert ops on the Tea Party. They're also hitting conservative religious groups you oppose, other agencies, the EPA, the ATF, for instance, coordinated harassment of your opponent's political donors. Your underboss, Eric Holder, went to the mattresses on the AP and Fox News. They even intimidated the parents of a Fox News reporter. We still don't know what happened in Benghazi because your crew hid the witnesses. The FBI didn't show up to investigate for weeks at a time. That scapegoated movie maker you threw in jail on trumped up charges, now he's so scared to talk he sounds like a neutered puppy.
Your NSA has everybody's number, for real, and their e-mail addresses. Meanwhile, the Congressional Black Caucus had to beg you to appoint just one cabinet member. You finally tossed them a bone, gave them one. Are there any jobs in the black community? New jobs? No. Forget that. Obamacare is killing full time work for a lot of minorities, but, but, you gave the LGBT, BLT, whatever you call 'em, they get props. And the Hispanic media went off on you. What happened? They get immigration on the table.
Now, in the past people have called your political tactics Chicago-style politics. Wrong. There's only one person in American history that did what you were able to do, and that was in the movies, Michael Corleone. Okay?
Now a translation for EIB brothers and sisters in the hood.
What up, yo! Oh, check it out, prez, bro, listen, you been busting it out like big time. You got the IRS and the Tea Party all up in people. Man, you up in their grill, bro. You squash Romney's money hookups. You pop the cap on Fox, man. You put AP under your foot, bro. You know what I say, man, smile, you talk soft and carry a big stick. Yo, that's exactly what you doing, man, you got it going on. You the BGIC, the big gangster in charge. Okay, this is gangsta government, okay? You feel me on that? But check it out, bro.
This NSA thing, this thing is like kind of totally uncool, you know? You want to talk about everybody's phones and e-mails, man, what are you, man, like Snoop Prez, new Snoop? People do a lot of stuff on their smartphones, man, they don't want you peeping on, you know, and you got people peeping on peeps. But yo, never mind that. Let me axe you this. What's up with you and the brothers, man? What's going on? We had to like beg you, get on your hands and knees, one doggie style, just for you to appoint somebody up with you in the White House.
Your health care joint costing brothers and sisters their full-time jobs. You told us to get yo back. We got it and now you stabbing us in the back one more time. Jobs, where are they? Everybody still got short cash while ya'll are still living large, man. This is not right. Something's not right here, bro. You've got to straighten this business out. If you cared, you would. But after five years, well, look, that's all the time I got. I'm out. See y'all later.
RUSH: And that's the Official Obama Criticizer, Mr. Bo Snerdley