No, seriously, folks. One of my points always has been that most people don’t know what they’re paying in taxes. I do this test all the time. I go ask somebody that seems to be doing well, “Do you know what you’re paying in taxes?” No, I usually get a refund. You what? “Oh yeah, I get a big refund. I get a big refund every year.” Well, you don’t know how much you’re paying in taxes? “No, it’s withheld from the check. I’m doing okay.” So you don’t even know how much you’re paying in taxes? No wonder when tax cuts come along people don’t get revved up about it because they don’t even know — and especially if they’re goofing up, and I do mean “goofing up,” if they’re goofing up arranging their affairs so they get a big refund, they really have no idea how shafted they’re getting, or being. I’ve run into so many people get a big refund check. “I can’t tell you how I’m screwing the government. Look at my refund! Ha-ha! Look what they have to give me back.” The truth is, look at how much of your own money they kept all year, and they gave it back to you with no interest, and you think you screwed them? You try not paying them for one month and find out what the interest is gonna be. You don’t pay ’em for a month. You think you’re screwing the government, you’re getting shafted by the government in more ways than you can count on Sunday.
So when any time people have to sit down and write to Internal Revenue Service and fill in the blank and then write out the number: “Seven thousand one hundred twenty-five dollars,” then the car is free, and then they say, “Wait a minute, the car isn’t free, actually cost 28, $30,000. $7,000? I have to pay in taxes? That’s un-American!” Yeah, I’m fully convinced if we could just once, for one year, make sure every taxpayer had to right the check either once a year or four times a year, we’d have a whole different mental attitude in this country about taxes and the feds know it. That’s why this withholding is never going to go away, because you don’t miss what you’re never going to see, that’s the theory. There of course is an option for these poor people in the Oprah show: just put it on their credit card and really get soaked. The $7,000 will become $14,000 before they pay it all off. All this for a free car. And let’s not talk about the new insurance it’s going to cost you and let’s not talk about the sales tax that you might have to pay depending on the state you’re in and let’s not talk about. Well, you might have an old car that you’re going to have to get rid of so you gotta go find a place to sell that. You can’t trade your car in on a freebie, so you gotta go sell it or do this or that or maybe you want to keep it and have two cars in which case your insurance is going to go up. If you have teenagers that are going to drive the car you’re going to really get soaked.
By the time you calculate the value of this “free” car, you’ll be counting the amount of money it cost you. That is why, my friends, and I’m going to tell you a little secret, just as a human being. I guess one of these people, you know what’s a good idea here? One of these people in Chicago that doesn’t want the car, donate it to Dan Rather. He may need a new home. No, I’m just kidding about that, but I could bring forth the sources to back me up on this, because I understand how this stuff works. I cannot believe. Just me personally, I would never give anybody a gift that’s going to cost them anything. Never. If I give people a gift that has tax consequences, I give them enough to pay the taxes — and I pay the gift tax on it myself. If I’m going to give somebody a gift, it’s a gift a hundred percent. Gift tax is a whole ‘nother thing, and it gets worked out later on in your life and so forth, but, you know, when I give somebody something that’s sizable, that has tax consequences, they don’t pay the tax on it.
For example, if I were to give somebody let’s say a valued employee I wanted to get rid of for a couple weeks, I wanted to send them to Hawaii. I would not just give them the airfare to get there, I’d give them the airfare, I’d give them the hotel, I’d give ’em meal money, and I’d give ’em whatever taxes. A gift is a gift. I just can’t give a gift that costs people money. I just don’t do it. But it happens, this is, in effect you know what these people are? They’re like game show winners. Game show winners, they have to be reported to the IRS as these people will be. The IRS is going to be asking for their money at some point. Absolutely. If you win a certain amount of money at Vegas, they have to report to the IRS that you walked out — honor system, too. In some cases, they withhold some of it, depending on the size of it. Yes, the government requires in some cases 20% or 30% of it be withheld just to make sure.
You know, GM bought these cars, actually, for these guests of Oprah. The liberal thing to do would be for Oprah to pay the taxes for these people as gifts to each one of them.
We did some research and CNN back on the 13th of September had a story that Oprah was going to pay. Who was it? Pontiac spokesbabe says that Pontiac was going to pay the taxes on this for these people. I got an e-mail from somebody in Chicago who said Oprah is going to pay the taxes for these people. Yet the story runs today, if somebody’s going to pay the taxes they haven’t yet and these people don’t know about it. So we have a little bit of confusion here.
Now, you may be wondering, “How is this possible?” Let’s take it one on one. Let’s say I give you a $30,000 car and I also want to make sure that you don’t pay the taxes on it. So you probably think, “Okay, I give you the car and $7,000.: Wrong. Not how it works because that would mean I’m giving you $37,000, not 30, that you would have to pay taxes on. The way it has to happen — well, and there may be others. The way I’m familiar with, I would give you a car for $30,000. I would find out what the tax, the federal tax on this is going to be — and if I were a good guy, I’d find out what the sales tax is going to be, too. And I’d find out what those two numbers are. I’m going to let you tell handle your own insurance since I figure you have a car anyway. I mean, you’ve got to have some responsibility here. So I give you the car, and I find out what the combination of taxes is, the car is a separate thing, then I write you a check for the — well, I gotta find a way to make sure the money I give you actually goes to the government and you don’t blow it on Blockbuster or something, and then when taxes are due you still don’t have it. But the way I do this is to charge it against my gift exemption. You know, you’re allowed to give X-amount of dollars per person per year tax-free.
You can give away a maximum of twenty — what is it? $11,000 per person now. So $22,000 a couple. So in this case, I would be allowed to give you $7,000 tax-free, no damage to me, and no damage to you. In other words, say I wanted to give you 50 grand. You wonder how this happens. “How do people give away 50 grand without paying taxes on it?” Well, the giver, the grantor, is charged against his gift exemption that adds up over the years and is settled way on down the line at death with the estate and this kind of thing. But beyond this limit of $11,000 a person, gift taxes on the gifter begin to apply. You know, in this case, if it’s seven grand, then there’s no liability. GM or whoever, Oprah, whoever, would pay the taxes for these people in the form of a gift would not be incurring any tax liability themselves. All they’d be incurring is the outgo. Now I said earlier that it would be the liberal thing to do for Oprah, having given these cars away, participated in the promotion, these people get free cars, the liberal thing to do would be for Oprah to pay these people their taxes, as a gift so that they don’t have to pay out. Because if you give you something as a gift you’re exempted from paying income tax on it. Again, I can give you, again, $11,000 tax-free, but I made a mistake when I said it would be the liberal thing to do for Oprah to pay it.
The liberal thing to do would be for Oprah to find somebody else to pay it, while Oprah gets the credit for it. That would be the liberal thing to do, and I realize many of you out there also realize this and I wanted to correct myself so that you didn’t think that I was slipping here. Because I mean lesson #1: When liberals start spending money on their “compassion,” it’s never theirs. It’s always somebody else’s. They always find a way. Sort of like these people that go over to these starving countries around the world. You know they’re sitting there with food in their basket. They’ve got sandwiches, but do they give these starving people? No, they’re asking you to send in money so that you feed them, even though they are right there. Sam Kinison said, “There’s Sally Struthers standing right next to a poor starving kid in Africa, wailing and moaning about it. Don’t you care? Can’t you help?” and Kinison is yelling in his TV, “Give her your damn sandwich! You’re there! I can’t do anything. I’m in America! Feed the kid and don’t show me this picture!” It’s typical of liberals.