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“I don’t know too many women who do not know how to operate a coffee machine.”

“Operation Chaos is proceeding exactly as planned and hoped for. Our objectives have been far exceeded, and now people are getting worried, thinking that I have gone too far. Ladies and gentlemen, we have no room in our operation for people who are afraid of success.”

“Buck up, soldiers! I now know what George Washington felt like. Hell, the Revolutionary War was nothing compared to Operation Chaos! So buck up! What we have shown is that neither of these two can win diddly-squat.”

“Remember, we are doing this for our children — well, your children; I don’t have any. We’re doing this for my nieces and nephews, your children and our grandchildren. We’re doing this for America.”

“A Dittohead is not somebody who is ‘manipulable.’ You people are not manipulable at all!”

“Do you know what bin Talawad Kalabi Asid Sahib Skyhook is going to do when he sees Mrs. Clinton’s lawsuit at the World Trade Organization? He’s going to make a paper airplane out of it and send it back over here on one of his Airbus A380s.”

“The bloom is off the rose on Obama. The messiah, it has turned out, cannot walk on water.”

“Black liberation theology churches are not dominant, but they’re around. It’s one of the major problems that I think the black community faces. People like Reverend Wright continue to poison the minds of parishioners in this regard.”

“Senator Salazar, we are going to find out who this group is — these Florida Democrats protesting outside the Democratic National Committee — so that you can send a letter to whoever their boss is demanding that they be reprimanded.”

“My cat, Punky, made the front page of the Palm Beach Daily News on Wednesday. I was very proud.”

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