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“You can put lipstick on a community organizer, but it doesn’t make him presidential material.”

“If I were to say something like, ‘Anyone with pig’s ears shouldn’t throw pig slurs,’ would anybody think I was making a direct attack on Obama? Hmm? Just illustrating a point here. You should see the wide-eyed fear on the looks of my staff on the other side of the glass.”

“What Sarah Palin is demonstrating is that you do not have to come out of an Ivy League university in order to lead this country. So much of the conventional wisdom about American politics has been stood on its head since the arrival of Sarah Palin.”

“You know what they’re saying in the bowels of the Democrat Party? They’re saying, ‘Uh-oh, what did we do? We could have had Hillary.'”

“Obama’s idiotic lipstick and dead fish comments were examples of Obama getting tough, and this is the real problem. How would he get tough on tax increases?How would he get tough on surrender in a military conflict?”

“By the way, anybody know the difference between Barack Obama and an empty suit? Snerdley, you know? I don’t know what the difference is, either. Sorry.”

“I’m having the best time with this. It can change on a dime, obviously, but I love when these people who have this arrogant, condescending way about them get a comeuppance.”

“Obama doesn’t like being criticized because he’s The Messiah and messiahs don’t get criticized. You have to remember: people have been lying down in front of Obama as he walks by — celebrating, paying him homage.”

“All I know is this: Barack Obama has something in common with William Jefferson Blythe Clinton — they were both abandoned by their daddies. And people who have abandonment issues generally end up being like Bill Clinton: they want to be loved by everybody.”

“Joe Biden forced down on the ‘superhighway of terror’. That is scary, Batman.”

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