RUSH: Snerdley just told me he had an older Southern gentleman call and complain about — it was two days ago — (interruption) The Les Moonves story was yesterday? No, it wasn’t. The Les Moonves story was yesterday? (interruption) Here’s the story. Man, it was yesterday? Seems like it was two days ago. I don’t know. I guess I got my arms wrapped around this Bruce Jenner thing so much that time’s compressed here.
Anyway, this old Southern gentleman called to complain that my comments about Les Moonves not leaving a tip for the valet at this Bel-Air, California, restaurant made me sound aloof and out of touch, and he was very upset. He’s upset at me? (interruption) Why? (interruption) Aloof, because I would… (interruption) Okay, here’s the story. This is incredible. See, if I were a liberal telling that story, I would be a hero. People would be writing valedictorian speeches about me and how I’m defining my life by my good works. But since I’m conservative and say this I have to be a frigid hearted, mean-spirited, aloof, out of touch, what, boob?
Okay, here’s the story. It was caught on videotape by a new site in California called Leave My Name Out, name the site, Leave My Name Out LA. Les Moonves was attending a birthday party for the 92-year-old Sumner Redstone at a Bel-Air, California, restaurant. As he walked out to get his car, he pulled this huge wad of cash out of his pocket and started going through it, and he only had one-hundred dollar bills. So he told the valet, “Hey, man, you know, all I’ve got here are hundreds.” And the valet, “Don’t worry about it, sir. Everything’s fine.” And Moonves said, “That’s right. That’s right. I’ll get you next time,” and hopped in his car and drove off.
And in reporting the story yesterday, I made mention of the fact that I knew exactly what Moonves was going through. I’ve had the same thing happen to me many, many, many times. You come out, the valet. But I said I deal with it a different way, and this is what your caller said that was aloof and out of touch? (interruption) Well, gee. Okay, what I said, the way I’d handle a problem like this, if I show up someplace and only have hundreds and there’s somebody expecting a tip, the first thing I do is I give the valet, from the minute I get out of the car, give him a hundred and say, “Please leave it up front. Don’t drive it into some lot. Leave it right here out front of the restaurant.”
And I said, “I drive nice cars, so the restaurant wants my car up front so people will think that the clientele inside are upscale, aloof, and out of touch.” And then I go in, and I dine, and when I come out, I give the valet another hundred-dollar bill for going and getting the car and bringing it back and then maybe sometimes, depending on whether the valet’s a nice guy, I give him another hundred-dollar bill for not stealing the car, as a reward. Now, you know, it’s a down economy, people are scrimping and scraping everywhere, and why is that not considered extremely compassionate and generous? Why is that aloof and out of touch?
See, if I were a liberal and told that story, oh, man, I would be heralded, and they’d be asking me to do valedictory speeches and graduation commencement speeches, and they’d ask me to speak upon the things that were really important in life, the things that really define you or things you do for other people, not your work or any of those old cold-hearted things. But since I’m a conservative, I guess my technique, my behavior dealing with valets — see, my dad — let me tell you the root of this. I’ve told you this before. My father told me something I’ve never forgotten.
You can learn everything you need to know about the character of someone by watching how they treat people who can’t do anything for them. If you see somebody who is rude or just ignores, pays no attention to, or talks down to people who can’t do anything for ’em, you know you’re dealing with a creep. You’re dealing with a mean-spirited person. I’m not mean. I’m not a creep. I have great appreciation for people who do things for me. So I’m in the habit of showing my appreciation in ways I think matter to them. And so I have been now called out of touch and aloof.
You know what it is, it’s the hundred-dollar bill, Snerdley. That’s what it is. If I would have said tens or fifties or twenties — (interruption) Well, they might have said I was cheap, you’re right, but I haven’t had a $20 bill in my possession in 10 years. I don’t even know what one looks like anymore. How’s that? Is that aloof? Is that out of touch? You know, if I’m playing golf in a foursome and I win the Nassau and what I win is 20 bucks, I tell the guy keep it, I don’t know what to do with this. (interruption) You ought to see the way they’re looking at me now — hee-hee-hee — on the other side of the glass.
Anyway, folks, it’s great to have you back, Rush Limbaugh and the Excellence in Broadcasting Network, 800-282-2882.
Hey, compare and contrast my tipping, my gratuity habits with Hillary. Hillary is notorious for stiffing waitresses, even when she uses them as props in her speeches. Why aren’t those people called aloof and out of touch? Why aren’t they called tightwads? I’m doing what liberals suggest you need to do, spreading the wealth around. I’m sharing.
But mostly I’m simply rewarding somebody who’s done their job well, and particularly done certain things that I had asked them to do. I don’t see anything wrong with it and a malcontent caller who thinks that I was aloof and out of touch is not gonna change my behavior on this. I’ve been dealing with this “out of touch” charge ever since — do you remember, Snerdley, when I first — at least my memory is when I’m first aware, my first memory of being accused of being out of touch. (interruption) Exactly right.
It was during the Clinton years. It was a guy from Nacogdoches, Texas. Somehow I made the statement that the electric bill every month didn’t matter to me. And he called, he was angry, “If you can pay the electric bill every month and you don’t care what it costs, we’ve lost you. You’ve become out of touch. You’re not one of us anymore.” That’s the first time it happened. I’m surprised you remember that. That goes back to pre-Clinton, has to be back in 1990 or ’91 because it didn’t take four or five years for that to happen.
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RUSH: Hey, I just got an e-mail from a woman who agrees with that caller that I’m out of touch, talking about Les Moonves and the hundred-dollar bills. This woman identifies herself as “an elderly Southern lady,” and she said it was unbecoming of me because the way she heard it — when I was doing the Moonves story and describing how I deal with valets — she said, “You sounded like you were bragging, sound like you’re bragging about dropping a hundred here and a hundred there and a hundred over there from your cash stash, and it was just very unbecoming of you.”
This continues to amaze me. You know, I didn’t get one complaint when I one time pointed out… There’s a guy that called here. It was during the period of time in the last number of years when gas prices were skyrocketing. You know, oil was way above $100 a barrel, and gas was approaching four or five bucks in certain places, and guy called here to complain about it and said, “I know you don’t have to worry about it. It doesn’t matter to you. But, man, $5 a gallon, $4? It’s bad, man! I mean, it’s really hurting everybody.”
I said, “What do you mean I don’t care about it? Have you seen the price of jet fuel lately?”
“No.”
“Well, let me tell you: I’ve had to order my pilots to slow down to 400, 450 miles an hour to save fuel ’cause it’s just prohibitive up there.”
The guy said, “Wow, really?”
I said, “Yeah! You think I don’t feel it? I feel it just like you.”
Nobody complained about that. (interruption) Snerdley is in there laughing himself silly. Nobody complained about that one, but here I talk about tipping a valet and all of a sudden I’m out of touch and braggadocios.